FLORENCE OLAWUNMI FAGBOYEGUN (1929-2013): AN EXEMPLUM OF A VIRTUOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
I cut short our series on the kingdom of the Lord and what the Holy Spirit showed us about the glory of heavens in this column this week to pay tribute to a great aunt who has just departed for glory. Less than twenty-four hours after Mrs. Florence Olawunmi Fagboyegun passed to eternity in Akure, Ondo State; Brother Shehu Yahaya sent an urgent text to inform me of the passage of my great aunt. I was stupefied but took solace in the fact that Mrs. Fagboyegun, like her late husband, Reverend Johnson Olajide Fagboyegun, lived an enviable and worthy life. Mama joined her better-half of over sixty years at the age of 83, the same number of years her husband lived on earth before he too transited to glory five years ago. Mama merely completed the same years with an extra year her husband did and just couldn't stay here longer than the most intimate and God-ordained relationship between husband and wife I have ever seen. The 4-year difference between them-he was born in 1925 and she in 1929; he died in 2008 and she in 2013 making one to wonder if there was a pact between them on the time of departure for the Siamese Lovers. There is this thing call Love which defies meaningful description until the Spirit of God shows us what exactly it means, or one is privileged to see two genuinely lovers demonstrate it in real action. How Reverend Fagboyegun and his wife, my wonderful aunt, Olawunmi who died last week lived together for over three scores in an ambience of polygamy, break-ups, male chauvinism and patriarchy defied imagination. They were inseparable throughout their 57 years on earth and will remain so now on the Other Side. Mama must have concluded that she was so lonely here after her husband's transition in 2008 and simply decided to join him. In this near-apotheosizing piece, I rather will prefer to look at what couples, aspiring wives and mothers of today can learn from the worthy lifestyle of Mrs. Florence Olawunmi Fagboyegun than her birth and early life. When the Holy Bible says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18: 22), the Eternal Truth was indeed revealed here that the first good thing and favor which is another word for Grace that any man can receive from his Maker is a loyal, dutiful, sincere, hardworking, loving, reliable, trustworthy and caring Significant Other. The venerable and wisest King Solomon should know when he penned those immortal sayings, after all, for someone who had 1,000 wives and yet to be bested in human history, he indeed should know. I sincerely believe that the way a man's life turns out to be will be determined by the wife he marries. No wonder the True Lord God Almighty warned the Israelis when He unchained them from Egyptian thralldom en route the Promised Land: “When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you— and when the LORD your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you,” (Deuteronomy 7:1-4). And the Lord God Almighty was later proved right considering the damage despicable strange women characters such as Jezebel, Pharaoh's daughter and other strange women that Solomon consorted with did to Israel.
In many of our numerous conversations during his life time, I once asked Reverend Fagboyegun why he married my sister among all the many female admirers competing for his attention in his bachelor years. “It was because of her family upbringing,” he replied. “She was an only-daughter of her mother and so one expects that she would be spoilt. You know how parents treat their only child like a jewel because that is the only child and so they allow him/her to have his/her way in everything to the point of spoiling such a child, but not so with your aunt. I would come to Oke-Ijebu (the family compound in Owo) in the 1940s while we're dating and to see her was near impossible. She would come quickly and tell me she had to go back into the house to attend some chores.” He said such strict disciplinary upbringing that Mama Olawunmi went through endeared him to her. “An only child, a daughter for that matter would have been loose cannon, allowed to have her way in all things always but not so with Olawunmi. In time, little Jide began to whittle down the co-competitors and young Olawunmi won the final price. Indeed, Reverend Jide Fagboyegun was the only man that Mama Olawunmi had in her entire life of 83 years on earth just as Madam Babafunke Ajasin (nee Tenabe) boasted during her lifetime that Papa Adekunle Ajasin was the only man she ever knew during her 93-year sojourn on earth. Papa Adekunle Ajasin too was the only one who stood up at a political gathering in Owo during the years of the defunct Unity Party of Nigeria (UPN) when the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo was addressing the town's honchos and asked among his political associates gathered; “Is there anyone among you here who can boast like I am that he's never slept with any woman apart from his wife?” No wonder the Ajaisns and Fagboyeguns were too close and kindred in Owo and shared much in their unique lifestyles and philosophical viewpoints.
In my maternal family side where I related with Mama Florence Olawunmi, tales and unsubstantiated scuttlebutts were staples of busy-bodies and provincial hillbillies, who couldn't fathom the unique and enviable lifestyles of the Fagboyeguns. I once asked the opportunity to ask Mama during her lifetime why these tales were so rampant and her answer was that; those who achieved success the hard way wouldn't expect tale bearers to conjure their convoluted world views of the origin and meaning of real success. The other members of our extended family couldn't understand how I was and still close to the Fagboyeguns and my reaction is that, the Fagboyeguns are unique in the way they act and relate to others, whether close, distant relatives or non-relatives in general. In my nearly forty years of relationship with the family, beginning with the time I would accompany my late mother to the Fagboyegun expansive family compound at Oke-Ogun, Owo in the 1970s in my teenage years till I left Nigeria for here in 1999, I arrive at ten schematic templates that the late Reverend Jide and Mam Olawunmi Fagboyegun lived by which sealed their legacies in the thumbprint of history.
Fear God and honor Him: When I dedicated my first book written here in 2000 to Reverend Fagboyegun, I was being frank on the impact of his faith on my life as a former Moslem turned born again Christian. He made impression on my life in a very unique way, because it's not easy for anyone to live a prudent, easy-going and disciplined life when you're extremely wealthy and Fagboyegun was a wealthy man, indeed. On one occasion while I was visiting from Lagos and early in the morning while I was still sleeping, he came to my room and said I should join him in daily devotion as early as 5.00am. He preached in Yoruba and even though I was dozing half-sleep, I was blessed by his homilies. Later on, I asked why it was only me and not my wife should be woken up, he answered: “As a man, you're the head of your family. Once you cultivate the habit of fellowship with God in accordance with His Words early in the morning, your wife and family will be protected.” He inculcated this fear of God and worship of the True Lord God Almighty in his children and two of them are pastors today. Mama's faith was real, this I know for whenever Papa entered the house of the Lord, Mama was always by his side and not at his back.
Have a goal in life: Every soul is placed here for a purpose and as the celebrated American philosopher, author, motivational speaker and writer; Dr. Wayne Dyer one said, the main objective of our individual's purpose here on earth is to discover why we're here and fulfill that purpose. Education is good but knowledge triumphs over all but the greatest secret of living is imagination. I sincerely believe that what each of us does with his/her life is up to us but no one is an accidental being. Success too is not a serendipitous discovery for after all, the Great Alone has given us all that we need for life and it's up to us to harness those creative and in-built talents in furtherance of one's purpose on earth. I often wonder how Papa Jide and Mama Olawunmi Fagboyegun succeeded in that “small and little Owo” to build a multi-million business empire in an ambience of complaints and hand-wringing by locals condemned to a hard scrabble existence. Local kibitzers have woven all kinds of tales and rumors on the success of the richest man and family in Owo and Ondo State but the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Look at their lifestyles, scrutinize the choices they made in life, analyze their philosophy and approach to life and you'd see while the Fagboyeguns succeeded. Reverend once told me that, money and success are everywhere, opportunities are abound in any clime but what is important is how you'll discover those opportunities. “You can be successful anywhere you're, because as a child of the Most High, you're like manure and will germinate and give birth to success anywhere if you can imagine it,” Reverend once told me. Mama hated waste and if you lived long enough with them and know them intimately, you would find out. “If this is how we spend and fritter away everything, we'd not reach this level,” Mama would tell anyone straight faced who came to take advantage of their generosity. Some relatives couldn't stand Mama, while some like me would defend her till death and thereafter. Mama was icy to some relatives but warm to some and I asked her why this was so. “Not everyone would love you, and you can't get along with every one, because some relatives do not have direction for their lives and so believe a rich relative would help them, but we only assist those who are serious, determined and are focused.”
A Wonderful and Trusted Relationship: Trust is a great desideratum in all areas of life and without it; no meaningful and fruitful relationship can be forged. Think about it, was it not the trust deficit that put the whole world into trouble when our First Parents, Adam and Eve chose to distrust their Maker? The Bible calls that Trust “Faith.” What causes skirmishes between couples, why do relatives loathe and mudsling each other, and why are citizens circumspect of their political leaders? It's lack of trust. I observed firsthand how Mama and Papa related with each other in personal and business terms. When you approach Mama for anything under the sun, she would respectfully tell you to go and tell Papa whose office was adjacent to hers. Mama handled all the money coming in from various sources of the business they ran together but Papa trusted his wife that he had no qualms whether she would cut corners and hid some money somewhere for her use. How the couples managed to ensure the balancing act of filial trust and business relationships in a world of trust deficit and selfishness amazed me throughout their sixty years together as husband and wife. When Mama said anything about an issue, especially about money or business and you spoke to Reverend, without a priori consultation, one would be amazed at their uncanny affinity of mind and preternatural thoughts. No wonder they christened one part of their business conglomerate, JOF Ideal Family Farms. Yes, theirs was a worthy family, and an ideal one.
Discipline and Hard work: A relative came to Mama for financial help and Mama asked him to bring his feasibility studies and saving account and the relative took offense. “Did he want us to hand over money to him like that?” Mama asked me later after the relative left. Another cousin came and wanted a car. Mama told him the price of the car but reminded him there were other brands the man could afford and paid back earlier and conveniently but the man insisted on a costly brand. Mama told him in her characteristic candor if he defaulted in payment, the car would be re-possessed. “You should buy the brand that is for your status otherwise, this one would be repossessed if you default in payment and do not think simply because you're my cousin, you'll get a free pass.” That was Mama Olawunmi for you! She didn't suffer fools gladly and throughout her 83 years on earth, you would always know where you stood and belong with her. Not for once would she ever contradict her husband, never and vice versa. In spite of their wealth, both would be at their desks by 7:00am while some of us from Lagos would be sleeping. Mama allowed it for her favorites but expected you to shape up after the long journey from Lagos. “Lagos people, you sleep too much, I can understand Mr. Journalist and writer!” she said to me one day then I woke up about 10 in the morning, because I had arrived from Lagos with my family at 10pm the previous night, woken up by reverend for morning devotion at 5:00am and had gone back to bed shortly thereafter. The Ideal Couples were so disciplined that by 10:00pm they had retired to bed. If Mama showed up in any family wake-keeping or obsequies, you must have been extremely valued by the Fagboyeguns. Was it hubris on the part of Mama? Not really! When you're the richest family in a land of austere poverty and everyone wanted a bail-out rather than working for it, petty jealousy, hatred and resentment would be palpable. Even some relatives that I know that had benefitted tremendously from the Fagboyeguns later went about bath-mouthing them. When you grew up as a half-orphan as Mama was and by dint of hard work, Spartan discipline and trust in God Almighty achieve success, you chose the company you kept with caution and circumspection. .
Raise and Bring up Your Children on Your Ethos: The Holy Bible says children are the heritages of their parents. Children watch their parents and what they become later in life were forged by parental ethos. We're what we're at times in life both in consanguinity and parental lifestyles. In spite of their enormous wealth, the Fagboyegun children were brought up with love, sound ethics and Spartan discipline of their parents. I should know because we are cousins. Papa and Mama provided them with all material comforts they needed while growing up but they weren't spoilt. They had it made but they also had to make forays in other areas of life on their own. Sister Olu, the eldest grew up to become a professor, auntie Lanre was the best student throughout her primary and secondary school years, the best graduating student in her class and now a judge in Ondo State. If Sisters Olu and Lanre were not born into the Fagboyegun Family, they would still have been successful in life, because, come to think of it, few daughters of millionaires end up becoming professors and justices. In spite of the fact they were chauffeur-driven to school in their formative years in those days, they still excelled academically cum laude. One is also a successful attorney and a man of God and the eldest son is a prominent business man and a go-to- financier. Another is a full-time pastor and yet one is a successful businesswoman on her own right. All these sons and daughters would still have turned out successful in life even without being sired by Papa and Mama but being Fgaboyegun is a great asset and veritable plus. People mistake their discipline and temperament for put-down uppity but again, in an oasis of wealth surrounded by desert of afflictions and poverty, eternal vigilance is essential but for those of us who know them intimately, they are amazing. Friendship with the Fagboyeguns shouldn't be based solely on money, influence and access to privileges but trust and genuine love. The imprimatur of either Papa or Mama on your conduct and lifestyle as a relative are strong commendations on your relationship with the Fagboyeguns. Mama was the ultimate matriarch and her sense of judgment could not be faulted.
Live a Life of Simplicity and Contentment: Every day, the Fagboyeguns ate organic food just like the Ajasins. Reverend Fagboyegun lived a life of simplicity and abhorred any form of publicity. A local musician approached the couples to wax a record in their praise in those days and reverend told the musician matter-of-factly he didn't need one. The young man went ahead anyway and composed his panegyric and presented Papa with the album. Reverend Fagboyegun thanked him and told him respectfully: “If I gave you money, it wouldn't because of your recorded album in my praise because I didn't need one.” Some of the locals thought he was mean; those with right senses knew he was a man of simple taste, contentment and decorum. Mama cultivated the same lifestyle of simplicity and contentment as well.
Respect others and honor them: Those who are empty barrels make the loudest noise, but those who value the intrinsic qualities of every human soul gives respect to every child of God. Each time I greeted Mama, I was always uncomfortable when she used the word: “Oga” for me as most people in Nigeria and Yoruba-speaking people know. One day as we were discussing in the living room, I asked Mama, why she addressed everyone like that. She laughed. “Okay, what are you? Aren't you Oga, the man from Lagos?” That elicited more laughter rather than satisfactory answer. Mama said everyone was an Oga as far as she was concerned. As long as a man had a roof over his head, took care of his family, paid his bills, and took care of business, he was an Oga in his own respect so it didn't matter how much he had in his private account, he was the Oga of his family, meaning the head of his household. Mama's explanation did throw more light on the meaning of that word than it is generally known for, in its everyday usage and coinage in Nigerian lexicon, that word has class and power-privileges ascription. To Mama, that word had a utilitarian ascription. An Oga is a self-supporting individual, a man who works hard and takes care of business or the average blue-collar Joe as we say here in America. That got through me and ever since each time Mama addressed me as Oga, I savored it and we both laughed, because I understood the angle she was coming from in her usage of the word.
Help the Weak and the Vulnerable: The Fagboyeguns helped several hundreds and thousands of people in and outside Nigeria during their lifetimes, including yours sincerely. They didn't shout over it. I know several people they assisted financially, especially those on hard times to meet their educational challenges. A family came to Reverend Fagboyegun for help in paying the school fees of his eldest son in college but reverend turned him down because, earlier in the year, the same man had made good fortune from his cocoa sales which reverend's company bought. “What did you do with all the money I paid you for the cocoa proceeds you had in this year's harvest?” Reverend Fagboyegun asked him. “Reverend, I have a large family; three wives and other children so I can't shoulder all their financial responsibilities.” Reverend told the man he should have prioritized his responsibilities and dismissed him. Wanting to whip up emotions, the man went to Mama to put in words on his behalf, perhaps reverend could change his mind; but Mama said the decision was jointly-taken by the two of them. A young man at my alma mater, the University of Lagos in the 1980s came for help by himself and after reverend checked him out, he learned the undergraduate was one of the best in his class and was a brilliant man, reverend gave him a scholarship rather than paying for the current school year expenses the young man came for in the first place. The man is a reputable banker in Nigeria today. Mama constantly impressed it on me they didn't open their doors to me because I was her cousin, but because they could see the potentials in me as a young man. They were right. Most of Mama's relatives who didn't get it she was tight-fisted.
Do Not Depend on Government and Politicians: In the history of local capitalism, three magi pioneered indigenous entrepreneurship in the ancient City of Owo: Chief Ajanaku Makun, Chief Aruwajoye and Reverend Fagboyegun. Because Chief Obafemi Awolowo bestrode the political life of Owo and western Nigerian like a colossus and for the fact Owo was the birthplace of the Action Group (AG), the interplay forces of politics and business could, and often get blurred and even the reluctant businessman would find political pressures irresistible. As the political direction of Owo was devoid of media lane of opposition, getting nominated into the AG and later UPN as a candidate for office was intensely acrimonious, more so the struggle for internal political hegemony was fought between the royal and elite wings of the party represented in the First Republic by Oba Olateru-Olagbegi, the Olowo of Owo and Chief Adekunle Ajasin respectively. Of the trifecta, only Reverend Fgaboyegun withstood political temptations. While Chief Aruwajoye was sponsored by Oba Olagbegi, Chief Ajasin picked my father, the late Ademola Olumuyiwa Fayemiwo as candidate for the western region house of assembly in 1964, which later plunged the ancient town into diametrically-opposed parties and the ghosts of the political kerfuffle still fester today.
In spite of the fact my father in his capacity as the Organizing Secretary of the defunct AG stopped the extension of the Fagboyegun and Sons Limited from buying up the land it occupied stretching up to the whole land later acquired by the Government Technical College Owo (formerly Trade Center), Fagbaoyegun sided with the Ajasin/Fayemiwo Camp. Years later, Mama brought up the matter during many of our numerous conversations and we laughed over it. During the Ajasin administration between 1979 and 1983, shortfall in financial allocations from the federal government of the Shagari Administration warranted a loan by the defunct Ondo State to pay the salaries of civil servants in the state. The government approached local banks for deficit financing and when it approached First Bank under the late Chief Samuel Oyewole Asabia, the Ajasin Administration was directed to contact “one of their most dependable customers/depositors: Jide Fagboyegun.” Always the willing party financier and one desirous of seeing a fellow Owo man, Chief Ajasin succeed as the state's first democratically-elected governor, reverend approved the loan with the understanding his money would be paid back as soon as money arrived from Lagos. It was not to be, for soon Shagari's austerity measures took off, bureaucratic bottleneck set in and a military coup swept the civilian administration out of power on December 31, 1983.
Former retired Col.S.I. B Ademulegun of Owo of the then Supply & Transport (S&T) of the Nigerian Army and now the king of Ipemen Land was being penciled down by the Buhari-Idiagbon regime as the military administrator of Old Ondo State until it was discovered after the coup that he failed to report at his place of assignment on coup day: December 31, 1983. General Idaigbon promptly gave an order Ademulegun should be retired while Commodore Bamidele Otiko was posted to Ondo State as governor. No sooner than Otiko arrived in Akure than he began to pursue the anti-UPN cum anti-progressive policies of the Buhari-Idiagbon military regime (1984-1985). Otiko opened the books and discovered the Ondo State Government owed Chief Fagboyegun several millions and alerted Doddan Barracks. In Nigeria, people purloin government finances but it's rare to hear government owes business people not for contract works done but for a promissory debenture loan worth millions of Naira. Pronto, Idiagbon showed uncanny interest in the report wishing to gain political capital out of it. The men of the NSO-the precursor of the present SSS-were dispatched to Owo and Akure to check out this businessman stupendously rich enough to give a loan to the state government. They looked and looked and discovered nothing, absolutely nothing incriminating or deals under the table that could be used to indict Reverend Jide Fagboyegun. As the late Chief Festus Adetula, an Owo indigene and then permanent secretary in the cabinet office of the defunct Supreme Military Council (SMC) under Buahri noted, Jide Fagboyegun made his money in the old-fashioned way, he didn't depend on government and the Buhari-Idaigbon regime didn't know there were still remnants of such indigenous businessmen and women in Nigeria. Yes, the vanishing class of Timothy Odutola, Lawrence Omole, Moshoeshe, Okumagba, Ojukwu, SOG Gbadamoshi, Tejuosho, Adebowale, Braithwaite, Akintola William, and few others. In 1985 after I became the president of the University of Lagos student union and the attendant crises that followed, I came to Owo and had discussions with reverend. He told me there was no money in government in the real sense if those in government were to discharge their legal duties to the citizenry: provision of infrastructure, payment of workers' salaries and other obligation unless politicians steal. He was right.
Be Legacy-Conscious and Have Eternity in View: Good name they say is better than riches. Both Papa and Mama Fagboyegun took their faith seriously and were so monomaniacal to what was right, just and virtuous. Mama was the quintessential virtuous woman King Lemuel praised in Proverbs 31: 10-31. She was a woman of noble character, a doting wife, trustworthy hardworking, responsible and responsive, amiable and kind. The storied involvement of the Fagboyeguns in the political turbulence of Owo and the mayhem that attended the Obaship tussle in the ancient town of Owo in 1999 and 2000 and other historical events that defined these extraordinary couples are reserved for my co-authored biography of the Fagboyeguns now in the works as I promised them during their lifetimes.
As another member of my maternal family generation, those I refer to as the Class of 1929 and the 1930s-among them my late mother, my late father, Mrs. Florence Saraki, the wife of late Oloye, Dr. Olusola Saraki, Ms. Funke Daramola, another respectable and good aunt and others, I express my heartfelt condolences to the second generation of the Fagboyeguns. I have called both elder brothers, Tunji and Segun Fagboyegun to condole them on the passage of a great Mama, while I have lost Sister Lanre's email which she sent to me in 2008, but Sister Olu, my younger relative, Pastor Rotimi Fagboyegun and Mrs. Omolola Adekeye should know I have them in my prayers. Mama is not gone; she has only gone to join Papa in heavenly glory. In the renewal of things, we all shall collectively meet together again in heaven and shall remain so forever, according to the unchanging and hopeful assurance of scripture: “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.” (Revelation 21: 1-6).
Good night Mama Oninurere, our eternal paths shall surely pass most assuredly in Jesus Christ Holy Name, Amen.
WORLD PROPHECY: This is huge! Something of global importance, an earth-shattering event and a cosmic occurrence is in the offing in the world. I don't know what it is but the Holy Bible has predicted it and we shall all see it with our very eyes soon. This event is part of end-time prophecy and it's about to take place very, very soon in the next 12 to 24 months. I don't know what it is; I repeat again, I wasn't shown what it is but again, it's HUGE. The whole world will be shocked; from the rising of the sun to the setting of the sun; from the East to the West; from the South to the North, the planet earth is about to witness a catastrophic event. The Divine Hand of God Almighty, the Creator of the heavens and the universe, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is about to intervene in the affairs of humanity. The world media, the commentariat, the scientists, the astrologers, the men and women of earthly wisdom and their ilk will be talking their heads out but will not be able to explain but those who know the True God will be unshaken and unperturbed. What is it? I wasn't shown but was only told (Luke 21:11 & 25).
From My Mail Bag This Week
Hello Dr. Fayemiwo. I stumble on your interview posted by pointblanknews.com. I have always thought IBB was and is still part of Nigeria's problem. After reading your interview now I'm convinced. Thank you sir
---Sani Yusuf, Kiru, Kano, northern Nigeria.
Thank you Mr. Yusuf, that interview was granted to the online site about five years ago and I'm still taken aback how it became viral and still relevant today in Nigeria.
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NOTE: My forthcoming book: “The Kingdom of Satan Exposed: Activities of Principalities and Demon Worship In Our World Today and Inside The World of Witchcraft, Voodoo, Warlocks and Spiritual Warfare” will be out in the summer. If you want a copy at a discount of 15 percent before official release, please send an email to [email protected] now for more information. Thanks. Our regular column will resume next week with our Issues of the Week and other matters.
*Dr. Fayemiwo is author, publisher & CEO, Alternative Lifestyle Communication, DBA and an adjunct lecturer in African History & Media Studies at the City Colleges of Chicago in Illinois, USA.